Explaining the Thought Catalog piece that everyone is currently annoyed with so that you don’t have to click on it and be annoyed or give them any additional pageviews.
Hi, I moved to Williamsburg in 2006 and, like, yeah, there was a Williamsburg before 2006 but I decided to pretend that there wasn’t and instead complain how, in the last six years while I was off in Boston living in my parent’s [sic] condominium for free and then in San Francisco after I inherited a bunch of money, things are a lot different than when I lived there with my friend’s [sic]. Now I’m still broke and fucking a bunch of dudes I meet at Union Pool (I go there ironically now) and then I eat at the same places that Maggie Gyllenhaal eats. I guess getting older is kinda weird, huh?
I’m going to listen to “Rack City” and “Stupid Hoe” all afternoon and think nasty thoughts about millennials.
And I know that it’s not even worth half a bar, but I seem to recall (via looking through the byline) that Fagan likes some pretty shitty music because of its shitty lyrics. (Sample lyric lauded: “Call on me / Call on me / Call on me / Call on me”.)
Thought Catalog: Do I contradict myself? Wait, what was I doing? Where did I put my adderall?
Via (strictlyalright).
Yale is hosting a “party with the writers of Thought Catalog” at a bar here
Regardless of your opinions about Thought Catalog this is like, the craziest shit I’ve ever heard. It’s a party! With writers! Critical consensus is a terrible thing but critical consensus is that they’re terrible! More importantly they are undeniably really depressing! Come to this party!
It’s also being billed as part of “Sex Week” here, which, what. I don’t understand you fucking kids.
But is this mundane enough for Butt Catalog to blog about with some injections of sexism?
Top Ten Google Results for “site:thoughtcatalog.com ‘full disclosure,’” in Order
10) “Full disclosure: When I was a teenager, I saw Rilo Kiley perform three times.”
9) “Full disclosure: I like The Sun Also Rises and Farewell to Arms a lot.”
8) “Full disclosure: My tummy is a temperamental diva.”
7) “Full disclosure: I have several Soulja Boy songs on [my iPod].”
6) “Full disclosure: All these 20something straight girls talking about their straight sex freak me the fuck out.”
5) “Full disclosure: I work at HowAboutWe.”
4) “Full disclosure: I have been know to DJ! *Cue explosion sounds, airhorns, delayed Jamaican soundbwoy drop*.”
3) “Full disclosure: I don’t even know what I’m going to be.”
2) “Full disclosure: Pretty sure one of my favorite authors is DFW.”
1) “Full disclosure: Lifted this idea from DFW. “
Hey, remind me to tell you the story about how I met the founder of Thought Catalog, when he tried to bait me into making fun of his terrible website by complimenting me for this post and conveniently waiting to inform me of his job. (I had a hunch that he was onto some REAL HOUSEWIVES BULLSHIT when I saw him talking to Tao Lin and Ryan O’Connell minutes before introducing himself to me.) After he revealed that he was the founder of Thought Catalog? He told me that he “had considered hiring me,” whatever the hell that means.
Go ahead and read this Forbes interview between the founder of the website and one of his contributors if you must. If you don’t, let me just share with you this tidbit, which is really the chicken of the nugget:
We are in the process of overhauling the site from the ground up. You’re going see everything change from invisible things like the technical infrastructure, to concrete things like the visual design and editorial. We’re striving to become one of the best content websites out there and because everyone involved with Thought Catalog is so talented, so dedicated we might just pull it off.
10 Things I Learned From Thought Catalog
10) relationships: hard!
9) let me tell you about when I was a teenager & my friends we did stuff (in Los Angeles)
8) 30 Rock
7) sometimes I like to be alone but sometimes I don’t like to be alone.
6) OMG turning into an adult
5) California and New York are different places
4) sex: fun & weird, sometimes boring & normal; the body!
3) I HAVE FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELINGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
2) You know that thing, how it’s like this? Well that thing is like this (obvious common experience, possibly lifted from Felicity)
1) #dark
A THOUGHT CATALOG PIECE
I just want a pizza covered in magic fairy dust, and I want somebody to hand it to me. I want the snow to happen in the summer and for dolphins to walk me to my office and make me brown bag lunches. I want an iphone that I just don’t have to pay for and for celebrity marriages to actually work out. I want to ride on a subway with every crush I’ve ever had and I want everything in my life to just like work, you know? Ughh life is so hard because I’m 25 and not super rich. I want a TRUE one bedroom and I want every delivery person to actually be a porn star, but not like a porn star, but more like an actual WALKING TEDDY BEAR!!! I just want to be a mermaid prince/princess and sell my voice to a sea hag to meet the love of my life and we can live in a rent-controlled apartment below 14th st. but west of 7th avenue, but not west of hudson st with a loveable bulldog who wears a tophat named Sprinkles.
